When we were kids, we wanted to grow up. We would envy the adults and think that life would be awesome if only the time would pass and we become adults ourselves. But when we grow up to be adults, we realize that life isn’t all fun and games as an adult. It’s hard.
We had it easy at childhood because the obstacles on our way were conveniently removed by our parents. We had a smooth walk in the path of life thinking that it’s so easy to live. When we are finally adults, nobody removes the obstacles in front of us. We have to overcome them by ourselves. We want to get ahead in life but overcoming the obstacles is hard, which makes life hard.
The Big-4 In Life
We all want to attain the big-4:
They are all tough to reach or keep and they are all interdependent. When you aren’t healthy, having money doesn’t matter much. When you have money and health it’s easier to attain the relationships and the freedom you desire. When you have freedom you are less stressed and hence healthier.
If achieving the big-4 was easy every man would do it but most men lead lives of quiet desperation. (This is why I wrote an entire book for men who want to break out of mediocrity and join the ranks of men who enjoy life to the fullest.)
We will first go through why it’s hard to achieve the big-4 and then we will go through some elements which make your life harder as if it isn’t already hard enough.
After we go through the reasons why life is so hard, I will give you the strategies to make it easier.
1. It’s hard to make money
Unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, there are 2 ways that you can make money:
- Working a job
- Building your own business
Working a job
This is the undesirable but the seemingly inevitable path for the majority.
First of all, working a job is a terrible way to make money. The law of economics says that entrepreneurs get the majority of the profits and workers only earn a survival wage, which more or less is the case in the modern economy despite some hard-won improvements in terms of salaries and working conditions of the workers.
Some workers are paid more than the others due to their skillset but these skills take years to build and they still don’t pay good enough money to make you rich unless you are a famous athlete/singer/CEO etc.
Finding and keeping a good job is hard. Dream jobs are rare (if there are any) and you will have to jump through endless hoops to get them.
Working a job isn’t easy either. It’s modern-day slavery. You exchange your most valuable asset (time) for money. Time is life. If you run out of time you die. It’s a raw deal to exchange your time for money but sometimes there’s no other option (at least in the short run).
When you get your first job after school, you start at the bottom of the hierarchy which causes stress. It also destroys your mobility, freedom, creativity, autonomy and a bunch of other things.
Jobs used to provide stability in the past which is no longer the case. Gone are the days when you worked at the same company until you retire. You can get fired for any reason. The economy is fragile. Crises happen.
When you are working a job, you pay huge sums of income tax. The government embezzles a large portion of your hard-earned money, even before it makes its way into your pocket.
Jobs cause pain, frustration, misery, and stress. They suck the life out of you.
A job is a rat race where you are bound to wither and die without enjoying life when you are young. When you finally retire, you are too old to enjoy your freedom. That’s a lot of hardship to endure just for the sake of making money.
Building your own business
If you don’t want to work a job (and rightfully so), you must build a business.
First of all, it’s hard to pick a business to start. Even when you make the right business choice, building a business is risky. There’s the nagging uncertainty as to whether you will be able to make it or not.
Building a successful business takes discipline, hard work, resilience, wisdom, patience and, sometimes, luck. Even when you succeed, you can’t rest on your laurels. You must be vigilant. The history is filled to the brim with successful businesses that went down the drain in the matter of a few months.
It doesn’t help that we are hardwired to take the path of least resistance. Jobs provide a (false) sense of security. Many people prefer to get a job instead of enduring the hardships and risks of building a business.
2. It’s hard to stay healthy
The history of humanity is filled with famines. We are biologically wired to eat as many calories as we can and store those excess calories to survive through a probable future famine.
Your body doesn’t know that famines are a thing of the past. It’s extremely unlikely that you will have to survive a famine throughout your whole life but try telling that to your body.
Calories are abundant in our times and your body will always tempt you to eat more than your body needs today because, you know, a famine may hit in the future. That’s how you are wired.
What this means is that you constantly have to fight against your wiring to gobble up as many calories as you can or you are bound to get fat.
Another problem is that while calories are abundant, quality food is not. Commercial food is contaminated with chemicals, high in empty calories, and engineered to be addictive. Healthy choices of food (such as grass-fed beef) are rare and expensive.
It’s also hard to find the time to work out. Modern life is not designed for you to be physically active unless you work a blue-collar job. You must go out of your way just to be physically active or you are bound to live a sedentary life which is detrimental to your health.
It doesn’t help that you are not directly paid for working out – unless you are a fitness model or a professional athlete. You have to do it on your own dime and time.
This is why I devoted 2 chapters to diet and training in my book Be a Better Man in 30 Days. Unless you take full control of your diet and exercise, you’ll struggle for a lifetime with getting into shape.
3. It’s hard to find quality people worthy of good relationships
Everyone desires a healthy, attractive, and grounded partner. These people exist but they are rare, which makes them high in demand and, as a result, hard to attain.
Most people have to settle for less desirable partners because that’s the best they can do.
Same goes for friendship. It’s hard to have high-quality friends because high-quality people are rare and they are also high in demand.
It doesn’t help that modern technology dilutes the quality of human relationships.
In the past, you had to build a social circle by meeting people in real life but now it only takes a mouse click and a simple text message to meet a stranger on the internet.
Relationships that lasted for decades became a thing of the past. Hook up culture, smartphones and the internet makes it easier to reach sex but harder to pair bond.
4. It’s hard to attain freedom
Freedom is only an illusion in the modern world. The government is always breathing down your neck. Slavery still goes on disguised as jobs. Internet companies are policing your thoughts. Free speech is crippled in the name of preventing hate speech and so on.
The Factors Standing on Your Way to Make Your Life Even Harder
1. Governments, corporations, the mainstream media, and the religions
Humans are selfish. Governments, corporations, media, and religions are created and utilized by selfish people who want to get ahead in life at your expense.
The government strangles you with taxes, police force, and intelligence.
There’s only one goal of corporations: Profits. Everything they do is in the name of profits and nothing else. They constantly push consumerism down your throat. If the public believes that they will be happy by consuming more, corporations profit. It doesn’t help that humans are hardwired to take the path of least resistance to attain their goals. This makes humans prone to instant gratification which in turn adds to the profits of corporations.
Religions are the same. A small number of people profit from religions where the sheep who follow them gain nothing and lose their time and money (sometimes they even die).
The mainstream media is nothing different from corporations. They only care about profits and sometimes they are tools for the bigger corporations to push their agenda. Many people believe that the mainstream media is there to educate them but nothing could be further from the truth. They are there to rob you of your money and freedom. They mainly do it by using the primal human emotion: Fear. For humans, the fear of loss is a lot stronger than the desire to gain. The mainstream media fans the flames of fear that human beings are naturally inclined to feel. That’s how they sell to people.
Civilization is great but it comes with its downsides. It’s impossible to run a civilized society without people having to forego some of their desires because the desires of the individuals conflict with each other. For example, if a man marries 10 women, the left out 9 men would revolt. So, civilization has to enforce monogamy, or otherwise, it’s not sustainable. Monogamy is mainly enforced through laws and society.
The population should also be kept docile to avoid conflicts. The life of most people in modern society is scripted before they were born. There are powerful societal systems in place so that it’s extremely difficult to stray from the pre-scripted life of “be born – go to school – get a job – get married – have kids – retire – die”.
Humans are selfish by nature. Nobody wants you to live an extraordinary life. The modern society operates in crabs in the bucket mentality. When you try to get out of the bucket, people will reach up and pull you down.
Everything the government, corporations, religions, and the society taught you is a lie. The first 3 institutions do it for propaganda. The society is just brainwashed. Your family members probably think they are doing you a favor by setting you up for the pre-scripted life. Everything is designed for you to be a good sheep. Life of a sheep is hard.
Ignorance is a major contributor to life’s hardships. Ignorant people are guaranteed to be miserable. Unfortunately, school education isn’t a solution to ignorance. The problem with educated people is that while they may be less ignorant than the uneducated, their beliefs are formed by the lies they were told.
I know many people who believe they are educated but the education they receive comes from the propaganda (government, corporations, religion, mainstream media) and their families (which are all lies). This is why the majority of educated people are miserable. They think they are well educated but in reality, they are just a tad less ignorant than the uneducated. The truth is often ugly but it’s necessary for a well-lived life.
The masses never learn the truth about anything that matters in life.
4. Outdated genetic conditioning
The world is changing faster than ever. It’s hard to keep up. Just 50 years ago, humans lived completely different lives than we do now.
Your genes are outdated. You aren’t evolved to live with technology, television, porn, internet, too much leisure time on your hands, an abundance of food, physical inactivity, and a flexible routine.
While the technological advancements made life more comfortable for humans, they also set you up for lots of traps. Technology, most importantly smartphones, hurt real-life human relationships. Porn and video games suck up your energy (that you desperately need) to succeed in real life. Too much leisure drives people into drug and alcohol abuse. Physical inactivity makes people weak. The abundance of food makes people fat. Not having a routine deprives you of discipline.
5. The unfairness of life
Life being unfair is nothing new, it’s by design. Life has always been unfair and always will be. Those at the top take all and the remaining majority settle for the scraps.
Moreover, you don’t get to pick your genetics, the country you were born in, your parents, and the environment you grow up; all of which play their parts in the trajectory of your life.
16 Things You Can Do To Make Your Life Easier
Don’t hate your life just because it’s hard. Life is hard for everyone but keep in mind that there is always someone who was dealt a worse hand than you but still went ahead and managed to prosper.
The following strategies will make your life easier by helping you to make more money, attract better quality people into your life, become healthier and attain freedom.
1. Improve your appearance
The #1 thing you can do to make your life easier is to improve your appearance. Here’s one of the lies that you hear a lot: “It’s the insides that matter”. This lie hurts a lot of people because your appearance matters a lot in life.
Looking good will make your life easier.
I listed this as #1 because you can immediately start taking advantage of it.
Your haircut, clothes, shoes, skincare, teeth, body fat percentage, muscle mass, and posture matter a lot and they all can be improved.
As per above, finding the time to exercise is a big problem especially if you are busy with work but exercise is an essential part of looking great. I figured that strength training is the type of exercise that gives you the most bang for your buck in terms of being healthy, looking great, and the time it requires you to train. Nowadays I only train for a total of 1-2 hours and manage to keep in great shape provided that I watch what I eat.
2. Avoid paying the price for the mistakes other people make
Life is already hard and it makes no sense to make it harder by paying the price for the mistakes other people make.
You already pay promptly and dearly for the mistakes you make. For an easier life, you must reject to pay the price for the mistakes others make.
Avoid associating with losers, following fads, arguing, politics, paying taxes, supporting a sports team, feminists, modern marriage, debt, ideologies, rescuing others, business partners, non-stem degrees, and following the rules.
3. Break the rules
“Go to school-find a job-get married-have kids-retire-die” scripted path is for losers.
If you choose this path, you’ll spend your life taking orders and asking permission for everything you do.
You went to the school when you didn’t have a say because you were just a kid. But when you are an adult you can say no.
Say no to exchanging 5 days of your life for 2 days in return and retiring at a time when you don’t have the youth and the energy to enjoy life.
Say no to a marriage where you hand the control of your life to the whims of a woman. Marriage is a bad deal for the modern man, especially in western society.
Following the rules is guaranteed to make you hate your life. Don’t be a slave. Be a master.
4. Get rid of the victim mentality and adopt a victor mentality
The victim mentality is so widespread in modern society that it cripples the lives of billions of people. It’s no joke.
You must take full responsibility for your life. You have the power to make great things happen when you ditch the victim mentality and adopt a victor mentality.
Taking full control of your life may seem scary on the surface but it’s actually great. Putting your destiny in someone else’s hands is a lot scarier because humans are selfish by design.
There’s a person in this world who cares about you the most. That person is YOU. So, why not give that person full control of your life? He will take good care of you.
5. Avoid instant gratification
Seeking instant gratification is the default human behavior because humans are hardwired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and take the path of the least resistance in attaining their goals. Corporations have long been aware of this weakness and they exploit it to the end.
Instant gratification always ends up with self-loathing. Here are some examples of how instant gratification makes your life harder:
- Eating food low in nutrition value but high in calories -> Makes you fat.
- Buying things that you don’t need -> Makes you poor.
- Watching porn -> Makes you celibate.
- Doing drugs/drinking -> Makes you sick and dumb.
- Playing video games -> Makes you fail.
Say no to instant gratification. Always go with delayed gratification.
6. Accept that people are selfish (and be selfish yourself)
Selfishness is deeply wired in humans because evolution decided selfishness as the superior trait like 300 million years ago.
I am aware that selfishness of others can be annoying at times but you can’t change it so it’s best to accept it and proceed to be unapologetically selfish.
Moreover, it may sound cruel to be selfish but it makes sense when you think about it.
Have you noticed that in planes they tell you to put your oxygen mask first before helping others? It’s because if you can’t help yourself first, you can’t help others.
Put your health, economics, relationships, love life, and freedom above everything else.
When you are unhealthy or you don’t have money, you become a burden to your loved ones. When you are not free, you don’t have time for them.
It’s no wonder why evolution selected selfishness as the superior trait. It’s your only option to get ahead in life.
7. Men: Be masculine. Women: Be feminine
The modern society is doing it’s best to suppress both masculinity and femininity. In reality, masculinity and femininity are both strengths. Masculinity is a strength for men and femininity is a strength for women.
Masculine men are responsible, rational, strong, bold, self-reliant, persistent, competent, disciplined, generous, and honorable. These are all qualities men inherently possess, they are all good and they make life better for everyone.
Feminine women are sweet, loving, caring, nurturing, forgiving, resilient, frugal, and compassionate. These are all qualities women inherently possess, they are all good and they make life better for everyone.
It’s always a good idea to play to your strengths. That will make your life easier.
8. Seek the truth
It’s disheartening to find out that everything you were told was a lie. The truth might hurt your feelings, contradict your beliefs, and be hard to accept. But the truth is the truth whether you accept it or not.
Never be afraid of the truth. The truth has the potential to make you free. Learning the truth about how the world works will make it easier to navigate it. Learning the truth about making money will make you rich. Learning the truth about fitness will make you fit. Learning the truth about humans will improve your relationships.
Always remember: Ignoring the truth doesn’t shield you from the harsh realities of life. Always seek the truth.
9. Ditch the religion
Religions can make life easier…for religious leaders.
Followers of religions are always worse off because religion is a lie. Remember, lies always hurt you sooner or later.
There’s absolutely zero evidence that God exists but the people who use religion to get ahead in life keep pushing it on you because it benefits them and it’s impossible to disprove them. In that sense, they set up a clever con. But, remember that the burden of proof is on them, not you. If they are saying that God exists, it’s their job to prove it. They never can prove it because God doesn’t exist.
Get rid of the shackles of religion. It’s designed to render you a slave. The life of a slave is hard. Life is easier as a master.
10. Accept that life is unfair and act accordingly
Life is unfair by design. Those who already have everything continue to have more of everything and those who have nothing continue to have more of nothing.
You must rise to the top where life is easier. That’s only possible through genuine self-improvement. If you start following the strategies I outlined in this article, you are already on your way to the top where you will have an unfair advantage over others.
11. Never take advice from average people
If the advice of average people actually worked, they wouldn’t be average themselves in the first place.
Humans are always dying to give advice to others but the reality is that 99% of the people have no business giving any advice whatsoever.
12. Have a routine
Discipline is a must to make your life easier and having a tried and tested routine makes it easier to be disciplined.
I wake up early to get more things done but I don’t think that everybody needs to get up early. Just sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time day in day out. Your work, meal and exercise times should all exist in a routine so that you don’t need to spend your precious time and willpower on the things you regularly do.
13. Accept that failures and rejections happen
Humans have an inherent fear for rejection and failure which hurts them greatly in modern times. Rejection or failure increased the risk of death in ancient times which might be the reason why we are hardwired to be terrified of them. But these things aren’t fatal anymore. In fact, they are necessary.
Ask any widely successful person and they will tell you that they failed and got rejected many times more than they succeeded or got accepted.
Failures teach you valuable lessons. Overcoming the fear of rejection is a must in order to realize your potential. Remember, one home run is all it takes. One success erases all the previous failures. Failures and rejections happen to everyone (even more to successful people) so don’t take them personally.
14. Stop caring about the misfortune of others (unless you know them personally)
I know that it sounds cruel to stop caring about the misfortune of others but when you think about it, you’ll see that there’s no other way.
Every day, millions of bad things happen to other people. If you tried caring about all the bad things that happen in the world, you would spend 24 hours of your life feeling sorry for others.
We have an innate curiosity for the bad things that happen to other people probably because we are hardwired to learn about and avoid the possible dangers that could harm us as well. The media exploits this for ratings and clicks. The media always play to your fears.
If you don’t personally know the person who is hurt, shrug it off and move on with your life. Don’t watch the news. It’s fake news anyway. Don’t let them profit from playing you.
15. Don’t compare your life to the life of others
The social media is all a façade. The new car your neighbor bought is on credit. The house your colleague bought is on 15 years mortgage and it’s overpriced. The relationships of most people suck.
The reality is that the lives of most people suck. There’s no point in following what they are doing with their lives.
Winners focus on winning, losers focus on the winners. Focus on winning.
16. Get Rid of Your Unrealistic Expectations
Many people waste away their lives with unrealistic expectations which will never materialize. Setting your expectations straight will save you a lot of disappointment and make your life easier.
There’s no question that life is hard but it’s up to you to leave the excuses behind, overcome the obstacles on your way and live a great life.
This has been a long article so here is a summary:
Why is life so hard:
- All men want to attain the big-4: (1) Money, (2) Health, (3) Relationships, (4) Freedom — which are all tough to reach or keep.
- There are two ways to make money: (1) working a job, (2) building a business — both of which have their own difficulties.
- It’s hard to stay in shape due to the abundance of food and lack of time to exercise.
- Modern times caused relationships to deteriorate. Divorce rates are sky-high and friendships are in decline.
- Governments, corporations, the mainstream media, and the religions make your life harder by exploiting you.
- Modern society is structured to turn you into a docile sheep who does what you’re told to do.
- School education falls short of preparing you for real life.
- The world is changing at a pace that outpaces the ability of your genes to adapt.
- It’s an increasingly winner-take-all world.
16 Things You Can Do To Make Your Life Easier
- Improve your appearance
- Avoid paying the price for the mistakes other people make
- Break the rules
- Get rid of the victim mentality and adopt a victor mentality
- Avoid instant gratification
- Accept that people are selfish (and be selfish yourself)
- Men: Be masculine. Women: Be feminine
- Seek the truth
- Ditch the religion
- Accept that life is unfair and act accordingly
- Never take advice from average people
- Have a routine
- Accept that failures and rejections happen
- Stop caring about the misfortune of others (unless you know them personally)
- Don’t compare your life to the life of others
- Get Rid of Your Unrealistic Expectations
Life is hard for the average man of today. It’s a winner take all world. Unless you are in the top 5% of the minority of men who live life on easy street, you will struggle in all fronts of life, be it money, health, relationships, or freedom.
Gone are the days when the average man had a stable family with little fear of divorce and a stable job that you would probably retire from.
As a man of today, you must either leave the average behind or live a life of quiet desperation. There’s no in-between. Obviously, this is easier said than done. If becoming a top 5% of men was easy, every man would do it because the rewards are incredible. The truth of the matter is most men will never be able to rise above mediocrity. They are bound to live a life of regret and misery.
I used to be miserable too. It took me years to take full control of my life and mold my life into a livable one. Today I am happy and I have a future to look forward to. I developed Be a Better Man in 30 Days which is an intensive self-improvement program for men who are tired of living a life of desperation, want to take control of their lives, rise above mediocrity and join the ranks of men who live life to the fullest. The program helps you put into action the principles outlined in this article. You can check it out if you want but I have to warn you that it requires work on your part. Most men want an easy way out of their misery. If you are not willing to take action, don’t even bother with the program.
Eventually, you must choose your hard. It’s hard to make it to the top but it’s harder to live as an average man. The choice is yours.