The 60 year period after World War II gave rise to a new breed of soft, effeminate men. The emasculation of the modern man is going on at full speed and, as a result, the men of today are increasingly moving away from masculinity and getting closer to femininity.
This new breed of effeminate men are often referred to as “nice guys”, but as Dr. Robert Glower, a psychotherapist and the author of the bestselling book No More Mr. Nice Guy, correctly states, the so-called nice guys are anything but nice. Their niceness is a veneer to get what they want out of life. Here’s how Dr. Glower defines the strategy of the “nice guys”:
Nice Guys believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, they will in return be happy, loved, and fulfilled.
Being good, giving, and caring are excellent qualities to have and brilliant strategies to get what you want out of life…if you are a woman.
These strategies don’t work for men for the simple reason that men are not women. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses. Masculinity, in its essence, is the sum of masculine strengths that are available to a man to get what he wants out of life. In the same vein, femininity is the sum of feminine strengths for a woman to get what she wants out of life.
Nature endowed men with masculine strengths and women with feminine strengths. Both genders suffer from drifting away from their natural strengths as it’s increasingly apparent in the modern state of the affairs. There’s nothing inherently wrong with masculinity or femininity. What’s wrong is when men try to be feminine and women try to be masculine.
As might be expected, developing feminine qualities didn’t work out for the modern man. The effeminate modern man struggles in all fronts of life, be it money, health, relationships, or freedom.
The reasons for the epidemic of the effeminate modern man is the subject of another article but female teachers, feminism, anti-male climate, the lack of strong masculine role models all play their part.
If you are hit by the epidemic of soft men then not all hope is lost. Masculinity is a mindset. It’s your job to reclaim your masculinity.
Here are the 21 ways to stop being an effeminate modern man and be more masculine…
1. A masculine man is selfish
The effeminate modern man is a pussy who’s scared shitless of coming across as selfish1. He is made to believe from early ages on that being selfish is wrong and bad. However, like all living things, he’s hardwired to be selfish, so he does everything in his power to conceal his selfishness. While he’s trying hard to appear selfless, he inevitably comes across as a wimp. Since no one respects a wimpy man, he ends up getting walked over in his relationships.
A masculine man is unapologetically selfish. He doesn’t care whether he comes across as selfish or not. What their teachers forgot to teach the effeminate modern man is that people, especially women, love and respect a selfish man. A masculine man doesn’t depend on mind games, tacit agreements, and manipulation to get what he wants. He isn’t afraid to ask for and get what he wants.
2. A masculine man doesn’t seek approval
The effeminate modern man believes that if he wins the approval of women and society, he will get what he wants out of life. He hallucinates that society and women will amply reward him for being a good boy. He sucks up to women and follows the rules of society to a T, only to end up getting shit on, used, and exploited. Women rightfully perceive approval-seeking behavior as weakness and punish the effeminate man accordingly. The rules of society exist to rasp his masculine edges and render him a mule to shoulder the burden of leeches.
A masculine man gives no two shits about the approval of others. Women are attracted to masculine men who forge their own path. Moreover, it’s impossible to satisfy the societal approval monster. Go to school and they will expect you to get good grades and find a good job. Find a good job and they will expect you to get married. Get married and they will expect you to have kids. You’ll have to support your family until old ages regardless of whether you stay married or not. Before you know it, time is up and you die.
There are absolutely zero reasons to shoulder the burdens of a society who waged a war on men and masculinity and will gladly throw you under the bus in case the shit hits the fan.
You exist for you and only you. The approval of others doesn’t mean jack shit. Break the rules, forge your own path, and apologize to no one about it.
3. A masculine man is assertive
The effeminate modern man is an agreeable pushover who can’t stand up for himself. He folds like a lawn chair at the first sign of conflict. Instead of standing up to his boss, wife, parents or even strangers, he occasionally ends up getting walked over. He keeps quiet when he is passed over for a promotion at work, he can’t go out to drink beer with his buddies because his wife doesn’t allow him, he can’t tell his noisy neighbor to be quiet, he can’t say no when he’s invited to an activity that he doesn’t want to attend, and so on. He avoids trouble and conflict, refrains from offending others, and he ends up operating below his full potential and doing things that he doesn’t want to do.
A masculine man is the opposite of a pushover. He stands up for himself. He knows that trying to please everybody is a one-way ticket to an unhappy and unfulfilling life. He understands that conflict is an inevitable part of human existence and he’s not afraid to offend others if need be. He has strong boundaries. He says “no” often and as a result, he doesn’t end up doing things that he doesn’t want to do.
4. A masculine man leads
The effeminate modern man follows the lead of his woman like a puppy dog.
A masculine man is a leader. When he chooses to be in a relationship, he seeks a submissive woman who is willing to follow a man’s lead, not a strong and independent cunt who hates men.
5. A masculine man is independent
The effeminate modern man is an empty shell of a man who is lost when he is independent. Dependency breeds neediness, low-self esteem, inferiority, scarcity mindset, timidity, servitude, self-loathing, vulnerability, impotence, and anguish. He’s devastated when his woman leaves him and finds it hard to get over her. He’s prone to developing oneitis and it’s common for him to waste years stuck in a soul-crushing job.
A masculine man is busy working on his own mission. He is dependent neither on people nor on institutions. He might enjoy the company of others but he doesn’t need them. He knows that it’s fruitless and stupid to develop loyalty to institutions. He is always willing to walk away rather than compromising his well-being.
6. A masculine man has a victor mentality
The effeminate modern man operates from a victim mentality. He blames others for his failures, feels powerless against the hardships of life, pays the price for the mistakes other people make, laments that life is hard and unfair, and is jealous of other people’s success.
A masculine man operates from a victor mentality. He doesn’t blame others for his failures, assumes full responsibility for the trajectory of his life, accepts that life is hard and unfair, avoids paying the price for the mistakes other people make, and celebrates other people’s success.
7. A masculine man holds up himself and others to high standards
The modern effeminate man is a self-loathing bottom feeder who settles for scraps. He settles for ball-busting women, dead-end jobs and sub-optimal health. He operates from a position of weakness and a scarcity mentality, which cause him to hold on to whatever crap he happens to have.
A masculine man knows his worth and refuses to settle for mediocrity. He operates from a position of power and an abundance mindset. He unapologetically demands excellence. He knows that holding up others to high standards is delusional without holding himself up to high standards too and acts accordingly.
8. A masculine man thinks for himself
The modern effeminate man too lazy to form his own opinions about how to live his life. Instead, he buys into the lies the mainstream media pushes down his throat.
A masculine man thinks for himself. He’s vigilant at all times about other people waiting in ambush to exploit him. He forms his own opinions on how to live his life.
9. A masculine man has rock-solid self-control
The effeminate modern man falls prey into the consumerism culture pushed onto him by corporations and he finds it hard to resist instant gratification. He tries hard to keep up with the Joneses and impress other people. His consumerism makes the corporations rich but he lives in constant fear of losing his job and the breakout of the next financial crisis. His inability to resist instant gratification causes him to get fat and out of shape.
A masculine man lives below his means and prefers delayed gratification over instant gratification. He understands that self-control is a must for living a healthy, wealthy and fulfilling life.
Developing rock-solid self-control is a crucial cornerstone of being a masculine man but getting into the full details of how to develop the discipline to pull this off is beyond the scope of this article. But the good news is I’ve already written an entire chapter that covers everything in Be a Better Man in 30 Days, including the tactics and strategies that I perfected over the years. Feel free to check it out.
10. A masculine man owns his sexuality
The effeminate modern man acts as if he doesn’t have a dick because he feels guilty for having sexual desires. He walks on eggshells around women lest they notice that he wants to fuck them. He often fakes friendship with the woman he wants to bang, hoping that things will somehow organically develop into sexuality without him having to “embarrass” himself.
A masculine man owns his sexuality. He has nothing to hide. If he’s interested in a woman, he isn’t afraid to let her know and earns her respect for doing so. He doesn’t fake friendship with her in order to get into her pants.
11. A masculine man improves himself
The effeminate modern man has a weird aversion to self-improvement. The lame advice “be yourself” is music to the ears of the modern effeminate man because being himself is easy as it requires no action on his part.
A masculine man is aware that men are made. He’s always on the lookout for ways to improve himself by utilizing his masculine strengths such as courage, physical strength, discipline, creativity, drive, adventurousness, and risk-taking. Evolution gave men the ingredients to build a great man out of himself but it’s up to the man himself to make use of the ingredients and build himself up into a great man.
12. A masculine man is physically strong
The effeminate modern man is a limpwrist who intimidates nobody. Physical strength is one of the most significant markers of masculinity. There’s a reason why all superheroes are jacked. Deep inside our psyche, we associate manliness with muscularity. Nobody would step foot into a theatre to see a pencil-necked, unconvincing superman.
A masculine man takes pride in his physical strength. Muscularity projects strength, virility, and superiority whereas limpwristedness and fatassery project weakness, laziness, and self-loathing.
The mainstream media has long been pushing physical weakness as a virtue but what they don’t take into account is the fact that they can’t reverse 300 million years of evolution with 60 years of stinky progressive propaganda. The progressive fruitcakes at Newsweek are shocked that despite their intense progressive propaganda, men with muscle and money are still attractive to women.
A masculine man knows that no amount of brainwashing can diminish the importance of physical strength and keeps his muscles strong.
13. A masculine man isn’t intimidated by rejection
The effeminate modern man is scared shitless of rejection. His self-esteem is already hanging on by a thread so he fears that his fragile ego won’t be able to handle rejection. This holds him back from taking risks and aiming high. He always goes after the sure thing, the low hanging fruit, to minimize the risk of rejection and ends up having to settle with inferior women and sub-par jobs.
A masculine man is a realist who understands that rejection is an inevitable part of life. He knows that if he is never getting rejected, he isn’t aiming high enough. His self-esteem is intact so a rejection serves as feedback rather than a blow.
14. A masculine man builds friendships with other men
The effeminate modern man has trouble building friendships with other men.
A masculine man knows that a woman’s company is no substitute for male camaraderie. Unlike female friendships, male friendships don’t automatically involve jealousy, backstabbing, and gossiping behind each other’s back. Tightly-knit groups of men have been hunting and fighting with the enemy since the tribal times. We no longer live in tribes but the modern man’s longing for male camaraderie is still reflected in his fascination with team sports.
15. A masculine man has the ability to deal with loneliness
The effeminate modern man is terrified of loneliness. He gets stuck in toxic relationships since he believes that it’s still better than being alone. He fears going out or traveling alone lest he’s perceived as a loser with no friends, which paradoxically sentences him to more loneliness because he misses out on the opportunities to meet new people.
A masculine man doesn’t fear loneliness. He would rather be alone than to put up with inferior relationships. He doesn’t give a fuck about what others think of him so he goes out and travels alone which allows him to meet new people and immerse himself in different cultures. He knows that loneliness is a luxury of modern times and cherishes it rather than avoiding it.
16. A masculine man takes good care of himself
The effeminate modern hates himself which in turn causes him to neglect proper self-care.
A masculine man has the utmost self-respect which makes it automatic for him to take good care of himself.
17. A masculine man shuns feminists
The effeminate modern man sucks up to man-hating feminists with the hopes of gaining their favor and getting into their pants. The irony is that feminists hate these effeminate men more than they hate anything because no matter how degenerate they are, feminists are still women and all women despise weak men.
The effeminate modern man is the reason why women of today get away with atrocious behaviors such as cutting their hair short, getting fat, dying their hair in unnatural colors (pink, blue or green), mutilating their bodies with ugly tattoos and piercings.
A self-respecting masculine man abhors feminists. He rejects combative, rude, self-mutilating, and degenerate women in favor of demure, kind, and feminine women. He laughs at man-hating feminists who have the temerity to lecture men about what it means to be a man.
18. A masculine man doesn’t complain
Observe an effeminate modern man for a while -if you can stand it- then you will notice that he perpetually complains and whines.
Complaining is a purely feminine strategy employed by low-quality women to get what they want out of life. If a woman complains and nags for a long enough time, people might eventually cave and give her what she wants. Although it works from time to time, complaining is an inferior strategy even for a woman because it will drive people away from her and she will end up lonely.
On the other hand, complaining achieves absolutely nothing for a man. Women might sometimes get what they want by complaining but men never do. Worse, complaining makes a man’s brain to believe that he’s actually doing something about his problem which cripples the problem-solving process and leaves his problems unsolved.
A masculine man doesn’t whine or complain. He focuses on the solutions, not the problems. If he can work out a solution to the problem then he does it. If he can’t then he ignores it.
19. A masculine man doesn’t do housework in his woman’s presence
Feminists, being the despicable liars they are, successfully framed housework as demeaning and belittling. Doing housework is neither demeaning not belittling. It’s one of the areas where the strengths of femininity shine because women are hardwired for nurturing and caretaking.
Feminine women who aren’t brainwashed by feminism don’t view housework as demeaning. They love to take care of their homes, men, family, and kids. A masculine man respects his woman’s femininity and doesn’t attempt to steal her caretaking and nurturing role. What feminists don’t tell you is that a woman derives pleasure from taking care of the man she loves.
I wake up at 5 a.m. to start working while my girlfriend is still sleeping. She always wakes up with me, prepares my breakfast and morning coffee, and then goes back to sleep. I used to think that she didn’t have to interrupt her sleep to prepare breakfast and coffee for me. I could easily put together a nutritious breakfast and prepare my own coffee. I would tell her “Honey, I can do it by myself, no need to interrupt your sleep,” but she would ignore me and keep on doing it. It dawned on me later that she actually enjoys it. She’s a feminine woman and she likes taking care of her man. After that epiphany, I let her do her thing. She’s happy, I’m happy, everyone’s happy when nature runs its course.
The gullible effeminate modern man bought into the feminist idea that housework is demeaning. As a result, he believes that he’s doing his woman a favor by helping her with the housework. As caretaking is feminine and women aren’t attracted to femininity, the effeminate modern man ends up getting less sex from his woman for helping her with the housework.
20. A masculine man dresses like a man
The epidemic of soft, effeminate men shows its effects on men’s fashion. It’s getting increasingly harder every day for me to find a comfortable pair of jeans for my thick, muscular legs because the stores are filled with skinny jeans.
The effeminate modern man doesn’t have any qualms about dressing like a fruitcake. Wearing skinny jeans is impossible for a man who has muscular legs and a set of functioning testicles.
A masculine man rejects dressing in an effeminate modern fashion. He dresses like a man, not a woman.
21. A masculine man is rational
The effeminate modern man is a man-child who lets his emotions dictate his actions.
Acting based on your emotions is a great way to be miserable, especially if you are a man. Women can sometimes get away with acting on their emotions (and eventually screwing up) because there are always men who are willing to bail them out or because people generally are more forgiving towards women than they are towards men.
On the other hand, nobody bails a man out when he screws up because nobody cares about men and men who act on their emotions are looked down on by others.
A masculine man is a grown-up, who is capable of acting based on logic. He knows that emotions aren’t reliable motivators of action and always dials his rationality in for a reality check before making his decisions.
Be sure to read:
- Top 10 Traits of Masculine Men
- Be a Better Man in 30 Days, the ultimate self-improvement program turns soft, weak and feminine men into tough, strong and masculine men.
- What Does It Mean to Be a Man?
- Is That The Man You Want To Be?
- 22 Pieces of Red Pill Truth About Modern Women Every Man Should Know
- How to Stop Being Needy